Fear and gratitude

A friend shared with me the idea that fear and gratitude can’t exist in your mind at the same time. I’ve been trying to hold on to this as I keep my “monkey mind” and anxiety under control.

(Monkey mind is often used in yoga to describe a restless mind – something I struggle with all the time.)

I don’t know about you but I’m not my best lately. Fairly often, I’m cranky, scared, stressed. I’m eating a lot of carbs.

My writing teacher, Mary Pierce Brosmer (know by some as Mary PB or Mary peanut butter and jelly) would say, there is light in the shadow moments. Here’s what I came up with when thinking about moments of gratitude and light:

  • Several friends, neighbors and coworkers have sent tokens of affection: a dinner gift card, brownies, cookies, a ceramic 50’s cat for me, cute mugs for the boys. A neighbor gifted the boys his old iPods after a conversation about technology and the boys wanting my phone while I worked.
  • Spending time one-on-one with each kid is rare and something I savor. Max and I went on a bike ride. Calvin and I chalked the driveway. We keep visiting our favorite turtles in the local park.
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Calvin and I decorated the driveway with chalk.

  • We’ve been jumping on the trampoline. I very cautiously did a “butt bounce” today. “Mama, you’re pretty good for 50,” Max assured me.
  • IMG_2098

    The trampoline. Mama’s “butt bounce” not included.

  • Texts, calls and Zoom meet-ups have been fun. (My brother informed me his DNA is more Italian than mine! How can that be? I called him a meatball. Anyway, our Zoom call was good for my soul. I’m lucky my brother is also my friend.)
  • My 95-year-old mother-in-law, Martha Lee, made a homemade Easter card for the boys.

    IMG_2101

    Easter card by Martha Lee.

“She’s going back to her roots as a child,” Calvin said.

“I miss Grandma,” Max added.

We all miss each other, don’t we?

Keep safe, people. Hoping you are keeping the “monkey mind” and fear away as much as you are able.

And now for the books

My book club’s April pick is The Glass Hotel,  not to be confused with the amazing The Glass Castle. Max has joined Calvin in reading the Amulet books. I’m attempting to do an interview here but Max is resisting…stay tuned.

4 thoughts on “Fear and gratitude

  1. Boo This is SOoooooo YOU and so beautiful. I think you just need to get out on that trampoline and do a few more butt bounces. :)) Remember, this too shall pass. How it flops out on the other side will be another story. Feeling for you and Eddie as the bar is not able to be open. But me guess is that on “re-opening” day, you won’t be able to get into the place!!! love you bunches from a rainy Island. hugs Shoemaker

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    Liked by 1 person

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